Posted by: CeCe | January 23, 2013

Why? Just… why?

So it’s been over a month since the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, and I’ve been struggling for the right words to express exactly what I feel about it.  I’ve been watching the debates on gun control, and have been increasingly angered and saddened by the new rash of shootings, including one in New Mexico where a 15 year old boy shot and killed his parents, his 9 year old brother, and his two sisters, aged 5 and 2.  The first words that came to my mind when I read the story were a very “eloquent”: God.  Why?!  And, What is wrong with people?!

So begins the debate again, gun control or no gun control.  Do we restrict the guns, or do we not restrict the guns.  One side says that obviously, the guns are to blame, and the other side screams that no, it’s the people, and you’re only going to pry their guns from their cold, dead hands.

Personally, I believe that both sides have their merits; the pro-gun control proponents are right, that there’s no reason for people to stockpile weapons, and some weapons just shouldn’t be available to civilians.  I get that.  I also get the pro-gun proponents; murders occur without guns, and they’d occur even if guns were completely taken out of the hands of law-abiding citizens, because criminals won’t bother with waiting periods and restrictions on gun types and ammo.

But… here’s my issue.  I think both sides kind of miss the point.  The fact of the matter is, something is very wrong with our society, and I don’t think that restricting guns or ammunition is going to change that.  If something wasn’t very wrong with our society, it wouldn’t matter if there were absolutely no laws against murder and there were weapons on every street corner; people still wouldn’t think of picking them up and actually taking the life of an innocent person.  Certainly not 20 first-graders, or their own crying 9, 5, and 2 year old siblings.

I just can’t wrap my mind around it.  I don’t know who to blame.  Just the perpetrators?  I don’t know.  I just look at these headlines that seem to be all too frequent, and I wonder what is the matter with us?  And how do we fix it?  How do we address sociopathic tendencies, and help them before we have to bury our children?  Our parents?  Our brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and friends?  Before the debate on gun control begins all over again?  Maybe we should start addressing what’s really wrong, instead of trying to slap a band-aid on it in the form of political posturing.

Or maybe I’m just too angry and heart-broken to think straight.  Maybe I’m thinking about 20 dead first-graders, a dead 9 year old boy, and two dead little girls, and my heart is sick, and every fiber in my body screams that this is wrong, this is backwards, this is not the way the world should be.  Maybe my faith in mankind is only hanging on by a shred.  I don’t know.  All I know is, I keep trying to find a reason, I keep asking why, and the only answer is silence, apart from the sound of dirt being shoveled onto tiny coffins, and my heart shattering over and over.

I know there’s hope.  There’s always hope.  But I’m really having trouble seeing that right now, and I know I’m not the only one.  God help us.



  1. CeCe, I grieve with you, and agree with you. Something has to change in the heart attitude of those who use these weapons.

    I understand the viewpoint that people want the safety of guns; but I fail to understand the need for high powered, multi-round cartridges for protection.

    There have been far too many people in the past few years (remember Amish School shootings, university shootings, Gabby Giffords, and Colombine, a shooting at a mall over Christmas just after Connecticut, just to name a few). We have way way way too many times where a person is either mentally unstable or just plain angry that uses a gun to hurt someone, and not in the name of self defense.

  2. CeCe when I read this blog it makes me think of all the reasons to own a gun, yet all the reasons why some would not want to. When I think of the many lost lives due to weapons being in the wrong hands I am disgusted beyond anything I can ever explain. Yet I can’t see what the difference is between having a high powered assult weapons or having an aresanal of weapons that were smaller or less powerful. A twenty-two pistol can kill someone the same as a 45 or an assult weapon. What I think is the issue is not the guns themselves, but the people who are possesing them that shouldn’t. Gun laws will not prevent the wrong person obtaining one. It seems like so many of the shootings happen with a stolen weapon from one place or another. I think the bigger issue with society is like you say there is something clearly wrong that banning certain guns will not fix. If someone wants to hurt others they will find a way. The only answer that I can think of is more mental illness programs for those that are suffering with a sociopath illness or other mental instabilities. I never thought i would be a gun owner 2 years ago, and yet here today I am because I not only enjoy target shooting, but want my home protected from those people who have the desire to harm others. I want more than one gun and as much ammo as possible should someone come into my home and try to harm my loved ones. If my right to protect my loved ones was taken I would be devistated. The challange with all that is happening in the world is you never know when the the **** is going to hit the fan, and when it does having the right to bare arms is going to be my favorite amendment. I love reading your blogs and I believe that your insight allows others to see things from more than one perspective, thank you for sharing.


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