Posted by: CeCe | April 8, 2013

The people you’ll only meet on Facebook

After having written several fairly heavy posts recently, I thought I’d do something a little more fun.  Or at least, I hope it’s more fun.  Let me say first that this is not intended to cause offense, as I know I’ve been guilty of several of the things on the list myself; the purpose of this post is more to poke fun at not only myself, but everyone else.  I’m nothing if not an equal opportunist.  So without further ado, the people you love to hate on Facebook:

1.  The chef.

You know what I mean; they tell you that tonight they made lobster bisque, something or other with crème fraîche, and whatever else, accompanied with pictures, of course.   Now I personally don’t see anything wrong with this, in fact I’ve done it myself, but I can see why it would annoy other people.  Maybe because the pictures make us realize that we haven’t eaten for several hours, and we wish they’d made enough to share!

2.  The photographer.

This person has literally thousands of pictures on their profile, and most of them were taken with Instagram or a similar program.   I actually like seeing the photos myself, but others may be annoyed, especially if most of the pictures are of the same thing, e.g. a particular person or thing.

3.  The preacher.

If you have a preacher on your friends list, you know it.  They continually post pictures and statuses about their chosen obsession, be it politics, religion, guns, or any social issue.  Sometimes these posts can lead to interesting debates; other times it’s just irritating to have one’s news feed clogged with views that are opposite to one’s own.  But it’s never more annoying than when the preacher is combined with this type:

4.  The power tripper

This person will not only obsessively post things about their leanings on various issues, they take serious umbrage with anyone who disagrees with them on their posts, or posts something that disagrees with it on their own profile, even to the point of unfriending someone over it (which has happened to me; I had a conservative friend unfriend me over my slightly liberal leanings).  They expect everyone to keep their opinions to themselves, unless of course one agrees with them on the issue, but refuse to hold themselves to the same standard.  You know you have a power tripper on your friends list when you hide the vast majority of their posts, or when you’re afraid to comment lest they become angry at you for daring to disagree with them.  Now granted, I have become angry with people when they disagreed with me, but only because they made it personal, such as the person who accused me of hating men when I brought up rape culture, which earned him a one-way ticket to the blocked bin.  The difference between my situation and the power tripper is that the power tripper reacts negatively to *any* disagreement, no matter how polite or objective it is.

5.  The conspiracy theorist.

I almost didn’t post this one, because I have several friends who almost qualify.  However, let me say that I have the utmost respect for all of my friends, even when I don’t agree with all of their views.  The conspiracy theorist is similar to the preacher in that they constantly post pictures and statuses in support of their views.  However, their posts are almost exclusively about conspiracy theories, be it 9/11, aliens, fluoride, Occupy Wall Street (which actually turned out to have some conspiracies attached to it!), or Obama being a Muslim puppet.  If you have conspiracy theorists on your list, you know that they at least keep things interesting, even if their paranoia can seem extreme.

6.  The DJ.

This type of friend can actually be awesome, because they may expose you to music you have never heard, or to music whose existence you forgot, because it had been so long since you’d heard the song.  However, there is another side to this, and that is that you may have a friend who posts almost nothing besides videos, one right after the other, day after day after day.  Fortunately, none of my friends are this extreme, but I’ve known about others who were.

7.  The lurker.

This type of friend is more often than not an older family member.  They don’t play games, they have few pictures, they never post any statuses or anything else, and they never comment or like anything.  However, when you see them at family gatherings, they know every single thing you ever posted, and saw all of your pictures.  It’s kind of creepy, to be honest, but you forgive them because you understand that maybe they just don’t realize that the point of Facebook is to actually interact with people online.

There are lots more, but I think seven is enough.  What kinds of people have you met on Facebook?  Please feel free to tell me about it in a comment!

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